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As the season of giving and receiving comes to a close for another year, looking back, I’m sure I’m not the only one that finds Christmas (in addition to its religious significance) to be the obligatory giving day, just as Valentine’s Day is the obligatory romance day. The mad rush to shop for everyone on the list – to find that perfect gift and often somewhat guessing just to have SOMETHING. I’m not suggesting that giving is bad – on the contrary. I just want my giving to be from the heart. I love to give quality food as gifts because I see huge value in the enhanced health that quality food can provide. So my poor family receives gifts like raw pasture-fed butter, air-dried unrefined organic sea salt, raw organic honey, high vitamin cod-liver oil etc. Those gifts are truly from the heart, but I’m not sure they are what my family wants … maybe I’m giving those gifts more for my benefit than theirs. So, is that authentic giving or selfish giving?

Have you ever given someone a gift, and seen the look of horror in their eyes when they don’t have anything for you in return? Often those gifts are the most authentic and happily given and nothing is expected in return, yet instead of being received with joy, they can cause embarrassment. Have you ever felt badly when you received an unexpected gift? Often when I ask for gift ideas, the response is that nothing is wanted but time together, and although I know that that answer is a sincere one, I still seem to feel the need to purchase something. Why? Many of us in the Western world have so much stuff that we really don’t need or want anything more. I think that the pressure of needing a gift to give because of the cultural / social expectations of the season may take away from the meaning of the occasion.

Giving is not something that needs to be saved for special occasions. Giving should not cause financial strain or regret on the part of the giver, and it should not create obligation of any kind in the recipient. Often generosity requires practice and a belief in abundance. An exercise to help oneself feel more generous, might be to give something small away every day for a week or two, and notice our feelings around giving. Recognize any discomfort around giving and continue giving despite of the discomfort, and that comfort zone will expand with practice. As you give away to others, you will notice how it comes back to you 100 fold.

As the years go by, I find that more and more, the most precious thing I have is time. My time is worth far more to me than money, probably because I don’t seem to feel that I have enough of it. My time is probably the gift that my family and friends would appreciate the most, but it is also the gift that seems the hardest for me to give. Not because I don’t want to – I have to continue to work on re-arranging my life to make more time available. My goal for this next year is to be more generous with my time, and to be fully present with my friends and family without feeling anxious about the work that is not being completed while I am in their company. Hopefully as I change my belief about my lack of time into a more useful belief about having an abundance of time, the balance in my life that I am seeking will finally materialize.

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An attitude of gratitude

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All the get-togethers and time with family make holiday time fun, but it can be really tough for those trying hard to stick to a diet.

Chocolate is my weakness. Especially if it is good quality 85% dark – I love it. But pretty much any chocolate in my house winds up in my belly – I simply can’t resist. So if I receive chocolate, part of me is delighted, and part of me is concerned that a binge may be about to take place.

Oh yes, and I also can’t resist my mother’s home-baked Christmas cookies. I’d be happy with one, except she bakes about 30 different kinds, which means I want one of each. Not a good idea!

During the rest of the year if it isn’t in the house I don’t eat it, so it is easy to avoid over-endulging. But at this time of year, sweets, cookies and alcohol are common gifts, and with the frequent parties and social events it can be tough not to go overboard in the food department.

Some may decide that “Christmas comes but once a year”, (insert whatever holiday you celebrate), and so no harm in indulging for a couple of weeks.

But for those of us that really do want to keep a lid on an expanding waistline despite all the temptations and the coaxing of Aunt Milly to have second and third helpings, here are some ideas that may help.

• Weigh yourself today and write that weight down. Promise yourself that one month from today you will weigh the same (or less). Give yourself a non-food reward if you accomplish your goal.
• Get a group together, do a group weigh in, put some money (say $20?) in a pot, and those of you that weigh the same or less at the weigh-in a month from now can split the pot.
• Avoid purchasing your own sweets and alcohol. If you want to prepare food gifts for others, make something savoury like tamari almonds, or herb-infused olive oils, beef/turkey/salmon jerky. This way you can snack without guilt.
• Never go to a party hungry. Eat something nourishing at home before you leave. If you are full you will eat less.
• Bring any sweets you are given to your next party and share them.
• Bring a healthy choice to a party. You probably won’t be the only one grateful for it.
• Stand on the other side of the room from the goodie table.
• Use a small rather than a large plate, and only fill it once. Drink lots of water.
• Choose the veggies and protein choices from the buffet table at the party. Then leave the table area.
• Chew your food until it is liquid in your mouth before swallowing. This will force you to eat slowly so you will feel full before you eat too much.
• Drink a big glass of sparkling water with a lime twist before a sweet or alcoholic beverage. You may just not want the sweet or alcoholic drink anymore.
• Hold your beverage in your dominant hand. You will be less likely to take more food.
• Best drink choice: water. Second best: wine spritzer. Avoid hard alcohol, or coolers. Play a game with yourself and see how long you can make one alcoholic beverage last.
• Pack up left-overs in small portions and freeze, so you don't feel you have to eat them all quickly before they spoil.
• Go for a walk after a big meal (and after a small one).
• Encourage others to go for a walk with you. Perhaps your walk will be a little longer.
• Weigh yourself every day before dinner, and write that weight down in a logbook. What is tracked is controlled.
• When Aunt Milly tries to cajole you into dessert, say "This looks yummy but I'm completely stuffed."
• Make for yourself or ask your host/hostess for herbal tea at dessert time and drink it. I don’t find chamomile or lemon citrus tea go well with chocolate, cookies or alcoholic drinks.
• Take each meal / party at a time. If you fall off the bandwagon and overeat, forgive yourself and try to do better next time, rather than succumbing to the attitude – “I’ve blown it now, so I may as well go crazy”.
• Remember that this is a time of celebration, so don’t feel guilty about eating the odd treat. Just focus more on conversation and games and activities rather than food.

For those that are very serious about sticking to their diet, in addition to the above:

• Tell your friends and family ahead of time that you are serious about sticking to your diet, and to only give you non-edible or non-drinkable gifts this year.  They will probably support your efforts if you tell them.
• Leave the box of chocolates, box of cookies you received in the condo lobby, office lobby.
• Don't unwrap the chocolates; re-gift them.
• Say no to all alcohol and sweets. It is often easier to go cold turkey than to stop at one.
• Wear tight clothes to the party. You will be less likely to eat a lot if the pants are digging into your waist before you start eating.
• Put a picture of you in your bathing suit somewhere where you will see it frequently. Wallet? Bathroom mirror? Fridge door?
• Download and watch some Biggest Loser episodes if you need some inspiration on what is possible. If they can do it, you can do it.
• Do some exercise every day. Walking after meals helps a lot to keep weight down by lowering blood sugar. (Remember that sugar in the blood is stored as fat by the hormone insulin if that sugar is not burned off.)

Desperate measures.

• Dog Method. Make good friends with the dog. One bite for you, one bite for dog. Or simply put your plate on the floor. Dog will love it, and you won't overeat.
• Gastric Bypass Method. Put food in mouth, chew, spit out into paper bag. Not recommended at social events.
• Garbage Method.  Volunteer to do a garbage run, and pop the sweets into the garbage while you are at it.  Warning: this may not make you very popular with your friends and relatives.
• Shut-it Method. Get your mouth wired shut and go on a two week fast. Aunt Milly won't be a problem now! Risk with this method is you might binge when your mouth is unwired.

Hope that helps. Enjoy your holiday everyone!

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