Learn to let go

“May I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
Reinhold Niebuhr, 1926

Probably when you get right down to it, all unhappiness in our lives stems from having difficulty with part one or part two of the above saying. When we find ourselves wishing for something different in our lives, it is worth asking ourselves whether or not what we are wishing for is something that is within our control.

If our wish is something that is not within our control, then it is perhaps best to accept what is, and let go of that desire. In the simplest of situations, it is a merely a matter of adjusting one’s thinking.

For example, if you are in a hurry and find yourself stuck in a traffic jam, the reality is there is nothing you can do to make traffic move more quickly no matter how hard you may wish otherwise. Tying oneself in emotional knots is not helpful nor healthful.

Let go of the worry of being late. Instead, have the presence of mind to accept your current reality, and be at peace. The difference between being at peace and being extremely stressed comes down to the difference in how you think. Nothing has changed in terms of the physical reality of the situation, but the hormone and neurotransmitter response in your body will be radically different.

Letting go is a vital part of maintaining emotional health in the most difficult of times in our life. Life is forever changeable, never remaining the same, and it is certain that we will be parted from those we love either through a relationship ending, or through death.

How we deal with these realities can mean the difference between health and disease. Hanging onto the past and not letting go can mess up hormone, neurotransmitter and peptide balance and over time this can create major problems in the body. So mourn, accept what is, say good bye, and let go.
Related Tips:
Recognize your Reality
How hormones, neurotransmitters and steroids work
Mind and body; psyche and soma

Katie, Byron Loving What Is Three Rivers Press, New York NY, 2002.



  1. Boni said,

    February 11, 2007 @ 6:17 pm

    Thanks man, i agree

  2. Randall Friedman, Rmt said,

    July 2, 2013 @ 12:07 am

    So much of our struggles with stress is our basic programming. What did we observe as children? How did our parents deal with the stressors in their lives whether worthy of their worry or not. How did they deal with us when we didn’t do things just the way they wanted them to be done. It’s not that we cannot change the way we think and then by doing so change the hormonal cascade that is in response to our thoughts and emotions. It’s more of a matter that our thought patterns are based much on our deeply engrained habits.
    I help my clients find ways to truly release their stressors. fear and phobias. I use the ground breaking technique called EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques. As it really breaks the emotional/ physical connection to our deeply engrained habits. It is fast to learn and can be used effectively as a self care technique or a therapist/client technique.

    I simply must add one more take on this subject via a technique called NLP Neuro linguistic programming. How we frame a thought can make all the difference in the world, the language we use with our brains change our responses. A very powerful “reframe” technique is when you find yourself constantly dwelling on “why do I feel this way?” which you may never answer or you may find 100 reasons to justify your low feelings which only makes you feel worse. If you reframe the question to an empowering question you can get a completely different result. We already know that we don’t like what we are feeling. Ask yourself “What do I want to be feeling right now?” focus on your answer, focus on that feeling. Things will change. Add EFT or the tapping technique to this and change can happens instantaneously. Help is available if you want it. Ask Vreni how to contact me.

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