As I was lying relaxing in the comfort of my bed this morning, I had a realization. A realization that seemed simple enough, yet somehow profound, and one that I was surprised I had not previously fully understood.
And as the beginning of a new year is often associated with New Year’s Resolutions, I thought I would share it with you, as maybe you will find it helpful too.
I realized that whenever we are experiencing a negative feeling, we are actually coming from a place of lack. Usually we feel a negative feeling because we perceive a lack of something – money, health, thinness, time, a relationship, worthiness, confidence, security – whatever that lack is. We want something to be different than it is.
Because we are viewing our situation from the position of lack, we are pushing against and thinking more about what we don’t want – lack of money, sickness, being overweight, loneliness, overwhelm, self-doubt etc. – which is exactly what makes us feel bad.
And if we make a habit of pushing against what we don’t want, we are directing our energy in the wrong direction. Solutions to problems do not come from dwelling on the problem and agonizing about how awful the problem is.
Nobody enjoys feeling bad, so what if we were to turn our thoughts to what makes us feel good? Whenever we catch ourselves in that feeling of lack, immediately focus our thoughts to what we are grateful for instead, until the feelings of gratitude, blessing, and happiness bubble up.
Inspiration that solves problems tends to happen when we are in a happy place. And life is generally better when we are feeling happy.
So, if you are one to make New Year’s Resolutions, think about the feelings you are associating with your goals. Feelings of sacrifice? Does sacrifice feel good? No. Probably won’t work. Discipline is an external thing you are imposing on yourself, and the negative feeling will likely eventually slow progress. No point fighting upstream.
Can you find a way to look at your Resolutions from a downstream perspective? What can you do that is fun, that will take you in the direction of your resolution? For example, if you want to improve your physical fitness, maybe spending time outside going for a walk and chatting with a friend each day would be a great way to start. Or get and love a dog, who will need daily walking.
May your 2017 be filled with peace, joy and happiness, and may your life flow softly and gently downstream in the direction you want to go.
Copyright Vreni Gurd 2017